This Story Is Exceptional
by Ishi Bana-Bana
Summary: Ahem. Why read THIS STORY IS EXCEPTIONAL? Because of Old Enemies!. The entire fandom is banished to the real world because M. Night Shyamalan is delusional and crippled. So Azula gathers everyone around for a master plan for revenge...and explosions...and psychotic girl scouts...and cookies...and randomness...and STALKERS...and candy...Dedicated to Spry. Updates slow.
1. Because of MiddleAged Men Magic!

She stalked her prey with precision and dexterity, making sure she wasn't caught. She had checked everything: the direction of the wind, camouflaging herself, making sure she covered up all of her tracks. The door creaked open to the lot outside, and she waited for her victim. Said victim, a girl with auburn hair and fair complexion, wearing a pink frilly not-catholic-school-appropriate dress, was holding a trash bag, and walking to the silver cans. She was hiding in the bushes, poised and ready, and when she had come close enough, she went into action.

She had prepared for everything- but not the camera-like noise your phone makes when you take a picture.

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of Middle-Aged Men Magic**

Azula was bored. She was bored and squished. Boished. Or squored, whichever way you looked at it. But anyways, squished and bored. Now don't get me wrong, Azula was not bored because she was squished, (Being squished is actually very exciting) or squished because she was bored (In which case we'd call the mental hospital), she was bored because she was in a holding cell, and squished because everyone else was, too.

As in, everyone was in a holding cell, which equals drama.

It's a wonder how she stayed bored.

Because beyond Pipsqueak (who was squishing her) and Appa (Who was squishing Pipsqueak) Ozai was hitting Jet over the head with Smellerbee, and Momo and Haru were having a tea party. And Zhao was running away from Yue, who was running away from Hahn, who was running away from Zhao, because Hahn does not like Zhao's sideburns. So they were all running in circles. And Ty Lee was throwing things at someone just because she could. There wasn't really much logic to anything. So Azula, who could not see over Appa, was really missing out on the illogical miracle of an entire fandom being squished in a jail cell.

Did I mention they were at a movie theater?

Yes, and they could all blame Mike and Bryan, because it was _they _who put them into that mess. They were the reason Azula was locked up in a convenient holding cell at a movie theater. As in, there was a sign above the door that read 'Holding Cell of Convenience'.

But they wouldn't get into that right now. Instead, Azula would flashback to when it all began…

Once upon a time, Mike and Bryan got a call from M. Night Shyamalan. He wanted to ruthlessly steal their ideas and make a terrible rendition of their show, but instead he decided to call him and ask for permission to do so. Mike and Bryan said yes, after an incident involving teacups and memory loss. So M. Night was all like, "Oh yeah, and I want the Avatar crew to watch it and review it," and Mike and Bryan were all like, "Waffle bananas!" And so it begun. Mike and Bryan, after regaining their senses (and their teacups) realized the foolish decision they made and decided to run away to Guatemala, where they could raise porcupines under the false names Horatio and Steve. So Horatio and Steve packed, booked a flight, and wet to the airport. And that's when they got an amazing idea…they would watch Disney Mobile on Mike's iPad. So they watched Phineas and Ferb, and Mike was all like, "Those children have an interdimensional travel device! We should get one of those!"

And Bryan was all like, "So we can go to another dimension where we are fruit?"

Bryan was hopping up and down, and Mike slapped him. "So we don't have to move to Guatemala. Idiot." And so they made an Interdimensional Travel Device in the airport, using merely paper towels and straws from Starbucks. And whe they pushed the button, it didn't work. Go figure.

"Maybe we need saliva," Bryan added.

"Bryan, we are middle-aged men." Mike said matter-of-factly, waggling his finger. "So we should have some middle-aged men powers, because we are middle-aged men."

"Can we be fruit?" Bryan asked. Mike slapped him.

"Let's just skip this part and hope the readers assume that we went to the Avatar world and somehow collected all of the characters and brought them to the movie theater." Mike suggested.

And so they did.

But when M. Night Somethingsomethingalan opened the door at the end of the movie to ask how it was, Aang was in the Avatar State, Azula was shooting lightning everywhere, Mai and Katara were in a fight to the death, Suki, Yue, and Ty Lee were in a catfight, Toph was in the corner possibly eating Momo, and there was some lunatic in the front foaming at the mouth and flailing around everywhere. And then Zhao threw a chair at Ozai, who ducked, but not before shoving Zuko in the way, who ducked, which sent the chair directly at M. Night Syamalan, who cried. 'Cause Zhao is a good aim.

So M. Night Shame-llama made them pay for his broken leg, and made sure they couldn't leave. because he's M. Night Shame-llama.

And now, according to Mike and Bryan who are on their way to Guatemala for vacation, they had to make up the money because they spent all of theirs on porcupine food.

And so here they were, in a convenient holding cell, waiting to be let out into the real world which they knew nothing about that would _totally not end in disaster once they see technology __**because they are used to that sort of thing, except not **__**because they have no idea where they are or what will happen next.**_

So yeah. This was going to end badly.

Azula rolled her eyes at the screaming Lu Ten who was being eaten by Appa. Azula made a little blue flame in her hand, shooing the bison off, and saved her cousin.

"I thought you were dead." Azula deadpanned.

"That didn't stop Jet," Lu Ten pointed out.

They both nodded and spoke simultaneously, "It was really unclear…"

"Anyways. I'm going to dominate this world's economy. See you later." Azula said. And Lu Ten walked off, somewhat scared.

Azula put her chin in her hand, elbowing Teo in the process. A moment later Mai walked up, glaring at her. "Hi." She said slowly.

"Where's Ty Lee?" Azula asked.

"Why?" Mai scoffed.

"I'm going to destroy the world, and I need your help." Azula said. "And Ty Lee's."

"She's over there by Suki and Yue." Mai deadpanned.

Azula smiled politely, but falsely. She walked over to Suki and Yue and Ty Lee, 'accidentally' pushing Jin in the process.

"Azula!" Ty Lee said cheerily.

"Listen, I am going to start a little business here," she started. "And I need your help. We are going to get out of this place if I die trying."

"But then-"

"Yes, yes, I know. It's a figure of speech. Now, we need more help. Mai would be appreciated, but-" Azula was cut off by Yue.

"We'll help!" she said.

"Bu-" Suki was interrupted by a sharp elbow, belonging to Yue.

"Eep-Kay or-yay Emmies-enay ose-clay!" she said.

Suki held her arms in the air. "I don't know French!" she exclaimed, and Yue frowned.

"We'll help you," Yue grumbled.

"Good. Now, we just need…" Azula looked around. "An idea for a business. Anyone?"

The impromptu meeting was stopped when Mai suddenly stood next to everyone. "I'm in," she said.

"You missed the time to say that. We'll let you join, but the _normal _time to do that would be when I said, 'We're going to start a little business here.' Got it?" Azula explained. Mai nodded unsurely.

"Ideas…" Ty Lee said.

"Knives." Mai said.

"The moon." Yue said.

"Hot shirtless boys," Suki yelled. A few people stared.

"CANDY!" Ty Lee screamed. More stares ensued.

"Yes…we will…COMBINE ALL THE IDEAS TO MAKE AN AMAZING CANDY STORE!" Azula exclaimed maniacally. Everyone stared.

"So…moon-flavored shirtless knife candies?" Yue wondered aloud.

"Yes. So, let's get started! Suki, you steal the guards newspaper while Mai, Ty Lee, and Yue laugh at you." Suki frowned but obeyed.

Ty Lee made a pouty-thinky face, and it looked as if it she was going to say something important. "So...What flavor is the moon?"

**Why yes, I AM starting a story! With more than one chapter! It should be ****about one more chapter than Fyre's longest story, just because.**

**So yes. Don't ask why. I just AM.**

**And... Updates will be intensely slow, so I can make you all SUFFER.**

**It won't be all about Azula. So don't worry. And this is not the entire story, like Azula starts a half-naked candy business or something. There's a twist. You'll see.**

**This is dedicated to Spry, just because. So yeah. Here you go, Spry! And it's all for betaing!**

**I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. I think that's obvious enough, though.**

**Press da button.**

**...So...What flavor _is _the moon?**


	2. Because of Evil Mastermind Pigeons!

The victim looked up, wondering what the heck made that noise, before passing it off as an awkward squirrel. She returned to bagging the trash, humming some random song.

The huntress watched quietly as her prey looked around cautiously, hoping no people were around, before slamming the lid on the garbage can so loud she vibrated. "SHAZAM!" the auburn girl screamed. And then she walked back in the pink building.

The huntress sat shocked. Wondering _what _in the _heck _just happened. And then a pigeon flew next to her, cooing, and stole the pretzels out of her pocket.

In a fit of pigeon-induced frenzy, she decided no was the time to summon them. And with a couple of buttons, her coordinates were posted on Facebook.

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of Evil Mastermind Pigeons**

In a half-circle, Yue, Mai, Suki, and Ty Lee were seated. Azula was in the middle. "As you all know, this was completely my idea." Azula started. Everyone glared. "Except, it was other people's too. Yeah. But anyways. This is Plan A- raise enough money to get out of this dumphole. Plan B, which we will be executing in, say, two to three chapters, contradicts this completely, but hey, this is a fairly lacking plot, so no one cares. We need to assign you guys jobs." Azula pulled a clipboard from out of nowhere. "Yue and Mai, you are at the counter. Yue handles convincing people to buy weapons that taste good, and Mai steals their money. Any questions?" Yue raised her hand. "Good, no questions. Ty Lee! You make the candies. I hope you're good at that, I just kind of assumed because you're pretty girly. I actually have no idea what you do in your free time. And Suki works on marketing, or vandalizing other people's businesses with signs saying, 'Hey, we're cooler than this place, so burn it to the ground!'. Oh, and we need uniforms, and to paint the place, and-Oh! We need a building." It was revealed that Azula and her new candy slaves were in the middle of the road.

"There's one conveniently over there," Suki pointed out.

And so they invaded a vacant building and sold sharp objects.

Katara came upon the new candy shop quite by accident. She was walking down the street when a pigeon came up to her and stole her sandwich. So she chased it around until it perched on Momo. Or at least Momo's head. Momo's giant, plaster head which twirled around gracefully on the awning of the new candy craze, 'Knife to Meet You.' She decided it looked interesting, so she opened the door, only to see a horde of burglars chatting and eating candy knives of all flavor.

Confessional Cam:

Azula: Yeah, well we realized pretty quickly the moon has no flavor and knives don't wear shirts normally, so we made all different colors and tastes and stuff. Look, a lemon lime pocket knife! Okay, why is there a confessional camera if this isn't a reality show?

"I'm confused," Katara said confusedly. "Knives that you can _eat_?"

"Come buy tasty weapons! Only for an extremely expensive price!" Yue screamed.

"Hey, with all the money we can get from using these to hold up banks, we can get tons of money to buy more!" One burglar said.

Said another, "And you can eat the evidence!"

"Let's go!" So they opened the door to leave, passing Katara, but all of their clothes were stolen by the pigeons.

Suki walked in. "I though Azula discontinued shirtless men…"

"You guys work here?" Katara said, dubious.

"Yes!" Yue answered. "We do!"

"It's boring," Mai drawled. "And we have to wear these outfits." Mai gestured to the frilly, skimpy, pepto bismol colored dress she wore.

"And the wall hurts my eyes…" Yue murmured, gesturing to the bright pink painted walls.

"And Azula is such a squid." Suki said loudly. Yue and Mai nodded in agreement.

"But we'll be out of here in no time!" Yue said excitedly. "Those nice men said they'd even give us some of their profit!"

Ty Lee bustled through the door. "I have KNIVES!" she said, sing-songly. "THEY LOOK TASTY!" A pigeon flew in and ate one, before attacking Suki.

"…" Mai said.

"How do you pronounce that?" Suki wondered aloud.

"…"

"Well how do you _spell _that?"

"…"

Suki thought for a moment. "…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Okay, enough '…'ing. We have a dilemma." Azula said, walking in the room casually.

"What?" Yue said dramatically.

"Suki needs to take out the trash." Suki, exasperated, took out the trash.

"Well, that was non-descriptive." Mai deadpanned.

"It was covered in the prologues," Suki explained.

"Now make me a bagel." Azula told Suki.

"But I thought I was Marketing?" Suki raised an eyebrow.

"You are. There's a market down the street. Let's hope there's bagels."

"I can be your slave, if you want," Katara said. "Wait, what? No! Why!"

"Here's a dress, and here's a stick to fend off the pigeons with." Azula said, shoving her out the door. "Now go! Take flight!"

"That was rude," Yue said.

"I have another dilemma." Azula said.

"Don't answer." Suki deadpanned.

"Answer." Azula urged.

"No." Mai stated.

"NEVER." Yue said overdramatically.

"Please?" Azula begged. "For the sake of plot, and so the pigeons don't get in here and eat our brains?" Azula gestured to a swarm of pigeons outside, scarring Katara for life.

"What is it Azula?" Suki said through clenched teeth.

Azula climbed up a random stairway, perched herself on the banister, and held one arm pointed dramatically in the air. "Gather the armies!" she exclaimed.

"You mean…the entire Avatar: The Last Airbender fandom?" Yue said loudly.

"That too." Azula replied, now inexplicably on the ground. "But seriously. I have to explain my Plan B to everyone before it's too late."

Confessional Cam

Azula: Confessional Cameramen, you're fired.

"Makes sense." Yue said. "Wait, no it doesn't."

"We will have a conference!" Azula exclaimed. "CUE THE CLIFFHANGER!"

And then a horde of creepy teenage boys appeared outside the window like in a cliché zombie movie, and everyone screamed.

"Hey guys!" A short girl that had randomly appeared behind them all said. "Want some PRETZELS?"

**So! How was that?**

**I'd like to thank Spry and Ursula for reviewing. PANDAS FOR ALL!**

**And for all of my followers/favoriters, too. I thought fame was 'slowly acquired' or something! Turns out it just takes random humor!**

**I have nothing else to say. Nothing. I hope everyone had a happy Sunday...?**

**I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. Well, DUH.**

**Press da button.**

**...and just who is this random girl, anyways?**


	3. Because Of Edible Cats!

It took three taps on her U-Phone for her to upload it to the internet. After wrangling with pigeons to get her pretzels back, she decided now was the perfect time to invade their super-secret fort. In classic spy-style, she opened the door and walked in casually while the avatar characters bickered.

"I knew it," she whispered. And then she shoved pretzels in her mouth.

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because Of Edible Cats**

"No! No we do _not _want your pretzels!" Yue screamed. "I have no idea who you are!"

"I'm maifan35462836izawzum!" maifan3546283izawzum replied.

"That is not a real name," Suki pointed out logically.

"I have pretzels!" she said illogically.

"Your _real _name!" Yue ordered.

"Okay…" the girl with blonde hair and incredibly pink clothing replied. "My name is Janice."

"How did you get in here?" Ty Lee asked accusatorially.

"I stood against the wall!" Janice said perkily. "Look!" She walked over to the nearest wall, and she did indeed blend in perfectly.

"And where are all the fanboys from?" Mai asked unenthusiastically. She motioned apathetically to Katara, who was being glomped.

"I think that one is from Canada," Janice replied, pointing at one in a maple leaf shirt.

"Janice-"

"Don't call me that." Janice snapped. "Call me maifan3546283izawzum!"

"I have 3,546,283 fans…?" Mai drawled.

"OHMIGOSH MAI!" Janice screamed. "Hi!"

Mai scowled. "You didn't even notice I was here the whole time?" She stomped out, feeling so _very _creeped out.

"_Why _are these boys here?" Ty Lee asked, smiling.

"For Suki!" Janice exclaimed.

Ty Lee hit Suki over the head with the nearest object, a frying pan. "Where did that even _come _from?" Suki moaned in pain.

"They sell them across the street at the convenient store." Ty Lee explained.

"How convenient…" Suki muttered. "But really, why are they here for _me_?"

"I stalked you down and posted pictures of you online, and now the entire fan _world _knows that you aren't figures of their imagination!" Janice replied much too cheerily.

"How convenient…" Suki muttered again.

"Where's Azula?" Yue wondered aloud. Everyone froze.

Mai walked back in the room. "Hey guys, you coming?"

Everyone turned their heads in Mai's direction, but still stood still. "Pretzels!" Janice exclaimed.

"Azula's waiting," she scoffed. Everyone exited the blindingly pink room and entered the next room, a large room filled mainly with a long table. By the long table were chairs, which avatar characters were sitting at.

"Woah." Yue summed up.

"Yeah." Suki replied.

"Pretzels." Janice stated.

"Whack." The frying pan said after hitting Janice on the back of the head, rendering her unconscious.

"Yay!" Ty Lee screamed. All eyes were suddenly on them. "Oh."

"Welcome!" Azula boomed. "Sit down with me." Azula sat on a panel. To her right were little name cards saying 'Mai', 'Yue', and 'Katara'. To her left were 'Ty Lee' and 'Suki'. They sat down in their respective seats, leaving Janice's knocked out body on the floor.

"Now," Azula started. "I have come to a conclusion-" She paused for dramatic effect. "We must defeat M. Night Shy-Anna-Lamb. We must…Make our own The Last Airbender movie!" Everyone stared at her pointedly.

"Can't we just do the nice thing and-" Aand started.

"Shut up." Azula snapped. "Now, we'll assign jobs later, using rock-paper-scissors and such. For now, I'll tell you my plan."

"Does anyone else think Azula shouldn't be in charge?" Sokka asked.

"I have lightning powers." Azula stated simply.

"Point taken." Sokka nodded.

"Now, here's the plan- we take down the actors. Wait, we need to do this in step-by-step format. Okay, here goes-

**How To Make Your Own 'The Last Airbender' Movie (For Revenge-ical Purposes)**

By Azula

1. Assign jobs to everyone

2. Defeat all of the actors

3. Cast new actors, 'cause the old ones suck

4. Have epic showdown with M. Night Shame-Llama

5. What kind of name is M. anyways?

6. Um. Yeah. Eat a cat or something.

7. More awkwardness. I think. Yeah.

"WHUT." Toph 'WHUT'ed. "Cats are edible?"

"Very!" Azula nodded quickly, smiling like a madman.

"So who's getting what job?" Yue asked from Azula's right.

"We'll find out! I guess, to defeat the actors, we'll assign the originals and stuff. So that crosses out Aang, Sokka, Yue, Katara, Zuko, Zhao, Ozai, me, and, erm, Haru." Azula concluded.

"I am not creeping on a little boy to 'defeat' him!" Haru exclaimed.

"Actually, we'll kidnap them instead." Azula said. "Therefore, there'll be no blood and stuff."

"Even better!" Haru screamed sarcastically.

"And we'll get partners, too. So everyone pick a partner." Aang picked Toph, Sokka picked Suki, Yue picked Mai for some obscure reason, Zuko picked Jin (And Mai fumed), Zhao picked Jet solely because he has no friends, Ozai picked Ursa, who protested, Azula picked Ty Lee, and Haru picked Teo.

And then Katara fled into the room, pursued by pigeons and fanboys, screaming all the way. She ran into the table, fell down, got up again (still being pecked by pigeons and glomped by fanboys, some shirtless because…well…um…no comment.) and jumped on the table, while screaming bloody murder. She then proceeded to run down the length of the table before tripping disproportionately on a pen. She then landed on Jun, who scowled.

"Okay. Katara is with Jun!" Azula exclaimed. Jin clapped excitedly, before realizing no one else was.

"What's I doing?" Katara yelled loudly and dizzily, her clothes a mess and her hair untidy. Pipsqueak was trying to fend off the pigeons and the fanboys, because Azula was paying him as guard. He wasn't getting paid enough.

"You're kidnapping Nicola Peltz." Azula said.

"Okay." Katara shrugged.

"So, how edible _are _these cats?" Toph asked.

"VERY!" Azula screamed. She threw orange flavored knives at Toph, who dodged epically and ate them after she got them out of the wall.

"Why don't we use the throwing knives on the fanboys?" Suki offered.

"Why is China made in Spain?" Azula retorted.

"Uh, it isn't. And you don't make a question go away by covering it up with another question. It just makes me have more questions, most of them about your mental health." Suki rolled her eyes.

"Where is my bagel?" Azula asked.

"Where is your grandma?" Suki replied.

"Where are the edible cats?" Toph stated.

"Why is Zhao inexplicably a mermaid?" Yue po_k_ed Zhao, who was indeed a mermaid.

"Well, how is Jet still _alive_?" Zhao pointed out, flopping around.

"_It was so unclear_…" the whole room said.

* * *

**This is probably one of my worst chapters. The first two were better. Hopefully.**

**Also, we know get to see Azula's new plan! This shall be interesting!**

**I would also like to admit that I don't hate M. Night Shyamalan, although M. _is _a peculiar first name. It makes me ****suspicious...off topic. There's a lot of M. Night hate in this story, and I would just like to admit that I do not blame M. Night for the way The Last Airbender turned out. (it was obviously the butler) I would also like to say that I am at least glad that a A:TLA movie version was made. **

**Thank you to my AMAZINGLISCUOUS reviewers, Ursula/It makes sense in context, and Antartic Dragon. And Spry, who tried, but wanted to sleep. Make like a tree and REVIEW! ...Please? For me?**

**Also, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. If I did, well, we know what would happen then, wouldn't we?**

**How _is _Jet still alive?**

**Press da buttons.**


	4. Because of Spontaneous Dubstep!

Highlighters Fergalicious Purple Sunset Kawaii Catfish Breakdancing Kokakola McAwesomeSauce XIV (Call her Highlighters Fergalicious Purple Sunset Kawaii Catfish Breakdancing Kokakola McAwesomeSauce for short) had just finished combing her beautiful, long, silky, luscious, technicolor hair. It was always beautiful, and long, and silky and luscious and technicolor. Especially technicolor. If you stared at it for prolonged periods of time, you would start hallucinating. And puking. And probably perpetual blindness, with side effects of DEATH.

She took out a picture of everyone's favorite firebender, and muttered, "One day, my sweet, darling, redundant Zuko, you will capture me on your ship and we will somehow fall in love, besides the obvious problem with that." She sighed, and continued to brush her hair, while closing the window so all the psychotic boys who lusted after her would stop drooling all over themselves. Life was so hard for her.

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of Spontaneous Dubstep**

**0.0.0**

**PART I: THE LAST PART WAS ACTUALLY A PROLOGUE**

**OR: AZULA'S MASTER PLAN BEGINS**

**OR: BECAUSE THERE IS **_**ABSOLUTELY NO **_**WAY THIS WILL GO WRONG**

**OR: THAT WAS SARCASM**

Azula stared at Zhao the mermaid with something like contempt on her face. As well as something like disbelief that Zhao was a mermaid now. "Let me explain," Zhao said slowly, the wrong thing to do if everyone was staring at you suspiciously.

"You're a mermaid," Sokka stated the obvious.

"…Yes." Zhao answered. "So, when the giant fish monster thing killed me," He started, glaring at Tui and La who were swimming around in a bowl precariously placed on a swivel chair, "It was made out of spirit water, which, according to the idiot who wrote this sad excuse of a story, meant that I had survived, because spirit water saves lives. The idiot also happens to be a rabid conspiracy theorist, and somehow came to the conclusion that I turned into a mermaid every time I touched water. Like that stupid Australian show on TeenNick." Everyone nodded, besides canonically having no clue what TeenNick was.

Ty Lee frowned. "Why can't I be a mermaid?" She wondered aloud.

"Mermaids are too mainstream," Mai deadpanned.

Katara, now bandaged from being attacked by pigeons, looked at Mai with wide eyes. "Hipster Mai?" she wondered aloud.

"Anyways, thanks to On Ji," Zhao scowled, looking at the innocent preteen, who was wearing a , 'Who, me?' face. "I am now half-fish."

"Is it permanent?" Toph asked bewilderedly, poking the fish man in his aquatic half.

"I really hope not," Jet said. "He's my partner or whatever." He frowned nonchalantly (if that was possible) and chewed on his wheat.

"Has anyone noticed Iroh is missing?" Suki asked, interrupting everyone's talks about why Zhao was mermaid.

"The real question is, does anyone care?" Azula replied. Suki glared at her.

"Didn't we cover this last chapter?" Suki replied hypocritically. "And Iroh was in The Last Airbender, so naturally, he should be a part of this plan."

"It's not my fault that the author conveniently forgot all about Iroh. Honestly, the fanbrat has so many plot holes that it's a wonder that he hasn't been arrested yet." She made a coughing noise, then what sounded like 'random Zuko saves our lives,' and coughed again.

"Hey!" Said fanbrat screamed from he corner he was typing from. "…It was a troubled time!"

"Why did you just self insert yourself? You're not exactly helping your case." Yue pointed out.

"…I never liked you."

"To answer your question, _Suki_," Azula replied, "I didn't invite Iroh because he's too chivalrous. That's why… Tom-Tom and Hama will go after 'Eeroh.'"

Hama cackled, while Tom-Tom sucked his thumb.

"Realistically, we would do something to stop our little boy from going on an epic and dangerous journey with a known psychotic criminal," Mai and Tom-Tom's mother said, "But this is a crack-fic."

"Foaming Mouth Guy, Actor!Mai, and Jin will scout out our new actors for Part II. Our Teknikal Support group will be Joo Dee, the Cabbage Merchant, the Boulder, the Duke, and the Momo. Note that I spelled Teknikal that way for lulz. Don't ask. Also, our Back-up will be those White Lotus guys and, uh, Combustion Man. And our Back-up _dancers_ will be the Dai Li. Any questions?"

Everyone stared at her with confused expressions. The Dai Li were staring at her as if she had gone crazy. Which she had, but not _this _crazy. A couple had just shrugged and started dancing in the background.

"Also, Skrillex." Suddenly, random dubstep started playing out of who-knows-where, and the lights were dimmed. A disco ball appeared out of the ceiling, and was reflecting its little lights everywhere. By now, everyone's jaws were dropped, and Momo was chasing the little lights around on the walls like a cat.

"DANCE!" Azula commanded, and threatened them with blue flame whips. Instantly, the entire meeting room was turned into some sort of awkward forced rave, and Azula laughed maniacally.

* * *

Janice woke up in the Meeting Room, covered in glitter and what she hoped was orange juice. She stood up, and fell down again. She then realized she was used as a doormat when she saw footmarks on her new pink sweatshirt. She groaned, sat up, and dusted herself off. The door was open just a crack, and she shoved her face against the crack to see what was going on in the other room. It appeared that Ty Lee was sweeping and humming in the main shop, and Yue was looking at a magazine in a comfy looking chair. The pink wall was still pink, and from her view, she could not see the display table. And then Mai walked past her line of vision, and Janice squealed. She stood up, and got knocked back down again thanks to her face hitting the door.

Sokka, concerned, came up to the door and opened it forcefully, hitting Janice. "Oh, it's just doormat."

"I am not a doormat," Janice huffed, before retaining her composure. "So…how about that Maikka?"

Sokka stared at her like she had sprouted wings and ate babies. "I'm locking the door now."

"No! Wait! I have to see Mai!" Janice shrieked. "We have to be besties!"

"You know she's leaving tomorrow with Zuko, right?" Sokka snickered. "And we're making you work here to make up for the fanboy incident."

"But that's slavery!" Janice exclaimed. "And I have to be besties with Mai!"

"If it makes you feel better," Sokka began, dead serious, "Smellerbee and Longshot will be guarding the candy store while Azula's gone, and they like whipping people."

Janice gasped like a fish. "_Why _would that make me feel better?"

Sokka shrugged, closed the door, locked it, and left.

Life would be hard for poor Janice. Very hard indeed.

"Seriously, _why _would that make me feel better?"

* * *

**I am very sorry for keeping y'all waiting. I discovered social media. And the evil truths of homework. Anyways. I'm compensating with this chapter, and another on Sunday.**

**Also, a competition- whoever can point out a mistake gets a speshul prize. Let that be an incentive for all of you.**

**I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender (It would have a lot more potato soup if I did) or Skrillex (who would be my maid if I did) or Chex Mix (which would be octagonal if I did) so there.**

**Push da buttons.**

**...Why _would _that make her feel better?**


	5. Because of OOCness!

Zuko looked down at the swooning multi-colored girl before him. "Please don't capture me, Mr. Zuko! After my parents died, my step-brother became a designated antagonist, and my goldfish joined the mafia-"

Zuko folded his arms. "Why are you on the ground?"

"PITY ME!" She screamed.

"And why would I capture _you_?" Zuko asked pointedly.

"Because…because you wuv me?" Highlighters ventured.

Zuko glared. "I'm done here. Please go back to whatever nuthouse you came from."

Highlighters frowned. "Well I guess I have no choice." She took out some handcuffs. "And neither do you."

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of OOCness**

**0.0.0**

**PART I: THE LAST PART WAS ACTUALLY A PROLOGUE**

**OR: AZULA'S MASTER PLAN BEGINS**

**OR: BECAUSE THERE IS **_**ABSOLUTELY NO **_**WAY THIS WILL GO WRONG**

**OR: THAT WAS SARCASM**

Azula stood in front of eighteen characters, all frowning, looking confused, or eating a cookie. The last one was Toph and she wiped away the crumbs from her face. "So what are we doing again?" the blind girl asked.

"I will be briefing you on your separate missions." A few people shot her confused or blank looks. "Remember, in Chapter 3, when I told you we were capturing the old actors and making our own The Last Airbender? Speaking of that, why can't we just call it 'Avatar: The Last Airbender?"

Katara told her, "James Cameron made a movie about blue people, and we can't use the word 'Avatar' or we get sued."

Azula thought for a moment. "So we need two more people to maim James Cameron. Any suggestions?"

"How about the past Avatars? They don't have any jobs and it's poetic justice!" Aang said. "Hey, where's Zuko?"

"You mean the description in the beginning of the chapter lied when it said, 'Azula stood in front of eighteen characters'?" Katara said.

A random Kyoshi warrior looked up from the corner. "No, I was included in the 'looking confused' part."

"We'll worry about Zuko later. For now, I'll just tell you how we're going to do this. First, let me just remind you that if you need help, you always have Teknikal support. And if you need more help, you always have back-up. And back-up dancers. But that is beside the point," Azula drawled. "Now, onto how to capture them." Azula held up a sack. "I think it's pretty self explanatory. Now, that's al you need to know! If you'll excuse me, I need to brief Teknikal support…" And Azula stalked out.

There was an awkward silence. "Sounds like fun," Ozai grinned.

"Something tells me this will not turn out well," Mai drawled.

"What was your first clue?" Sokka gestured to Tom-Tom and Hama.

* * *

"Okay, who here knows how to use a phone?" Azula asked. Joo Di, Cabbage Merchant, and Momo looked at each other.

"Kklpffkl? Momo chattered.

"Cabbages?" Cabbage Merchant replied.

"Welcome to Ba Sing Se," Joo Di grinned.

"Looks like we have our work cut out for us." Azula said happily.

"Kklpfffkt!" Momo screeched.

"Okay, so when someone calls, answer," she picked up a phone. "And be generally unhelpful. If they say they need help, laugh at them. If they want pizza, hang up. If they want to donate money-" Azula was interrupted by Cabbage Merchant, who was eating cabbages. "Well, I think you get it. Anyways, I have to go brief the back-up, so…" And with that, Azula left the room.

"Kcpklkt!" Momo exclaimed emotionally.

"I know, I know…Cabbages are life's greatest beauty…It's so beautiful I'm tearbending!" Cabbage Merchant cried.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Joo Di smiled eerily.

* * *

Azula ran into a room full of old people. Iroh (who was inexplicably now part of the plan, besides not being in the beginning) Pakku, and Piandao were drinking tea, while Jeong Jeong and Bumi were discussing something intense, judging by the hand motions. Combustion Man was eating scones by himself. "When you get a signal, you go help a person in need of help, and stuff! Well I have to go, so…"

"Isn't she usually borderline psychotic?" Piandao asked Iroh.

"My niece is many things,"Iroh stated, "And that is definitely one of them. Hastily running around and using ellipses is not one of them. Neither is being kind. Or generous. Or-"

"I understand, Iroh," Piandao drawled.

"Maybe she was possessed by a demon!" Bumi cackled.

"I doubt that,"Pakku said, and sipped his tea.

Combustion Man said nothing. He just ate more scones.

"I doubt _you_!" Bumi exclaimed. Pakku sipped more tea. "I'll ask Aang what he thinks. He'll agree!" Bumi earthbended out of the door by launching himself off an earth-pillar. He raced down the hallways cackling like a madman, and into the room with the original sixteen characters (and random Kyoshi Warrior). They looked up expectantly.

"Oh, hi Bumi!" Aang exclaimed, completely unfazed.

Bumi strolled over to Aang. "Aang, come with me in the corridor," he said, dead serious. Bumi walked out of the room, and Aang walked out of the room with him. Katara and Sokka stared on, wondering what was so serious. Toph decided to eavesdrop, and she stood by the door.

"Aang," Bumi stared in the young Airbender's eyes. "Why is Azula being so OOC?"

Aang, who had stopped breathing for a moment, facepalmed. "Well-"

Suddenly, the door broke down. "That's all you were talking about?"Toph exclaimed. "That's what we've been wondering! Haru even started a betting pool!"

"I bet that it was bad Vietnamese food!" Ty Lee said perkily.

"I bet that it was karma." Katara chuckled darkly.

"I bet that we were in a poorly written crackfic, and that it was so sucky that Azula is OOC!" Teo exclaimed.

"Not many people agreed with that one…" Haru muttered.

"Yeah, well, something's wrong with her. I'm pretty sure the spirits blessed us, because the alternative is Azula killing us in our sleep." Sokka stated.

"Azula is obviously possessed by a demon," Bumi said all-knowingly. "Just ask Momo."

Haru scribbled something down on a piece of paper not previously mentioned. "Can do…"

Azula strolled into the room. She looked around, whipping her head in different directions. "Where's Mai?" She asked.

Mai raised her hand. "Present." She deadpanned.

"Mmhmm. That's nice." Azula then started humming.

Ty Lee bounced up to the somehow-now-sane firebender. "Eat any good Vietnamese food recently?" Ty Lee grinned. "Or _bad_?"

Bumi snorted, and grabbed a cross from somewhere indeterminate. He then threw it at Azula. The cross hit her squarely between the eyes. "DEMON BE GONE! DEMON BE GONE!" He screamed.

"Hey…" Azula narrowed her eyes. "Has anyone seen Zuko?"

* * *

**Okay. This is much more serious than I thought it would be...Also, very fast paced...I'l rewrite it later. I guess that happens when you read three Save the Fandom Fics in three days. And, you know, when your sister is watching a very loud dancing reality show, when your parents make you check out colleges for the weekend, and when you just got that Percy Jackson book...Ah, book coma, here I come...**

**Remember: Point out a mistake in spelling, grammar, etc. and get a SPESHUL PRIZE. It's very speshul. Trust me.**

**Thank you to Ursula/It makes sense in context, Ash, Head19, and Spry for reviewing. I forgot this last time, so I'm putting it here.**

**I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender. Or Avatar: The Last 'Hey James Cameron, Couldn't You Just Pick Another Name Since Nickelodeon Had It First?'bender. Which is another way to say Avatar. With the blue people.**

**Push _all _them buttons. Por favor?**

**..._Has _anyone seen Zuko?**


	6. Because of Crackaliciousness!

"Come now, Zuzu, we're going back to my house to force the author to change the rating to M." Highlighters dragged the firebender behind her as she plodded through the halls of the inexplicably now-large-sized candy store. That now had hallways.

"How did you get in here, anyways?" Zuko asked the rainbow-headed freakshow.

She stopped, stared at him eerily, and replied: "MAGIC!" She waved her hands around like some jazzhand's spaztic younger brother. Dubstephands, or something.

"How lovely."

Suddenly, an entourage of characters ran out of a door labeled, 'Random Unsuspecting Door.' They stopped, took a look at Zuko and the rainbow lady, and ran the other way.

Highlighters tapped her chin, in a think-y position. She turned around with her mouth opened up, and stopped. Zuko was gone.

And no one, not even Lizzie Borden, would _ever take her Zuzu away ever._

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of Crackaliciousness**

**0.0.0**

**PART I: THE LAST PART WAS ACTUALLY A PROLOGUE**

**OR: AZULA'S MASTER PLAN BEGINS**

**OR: BECAUSE THERE IS **_**ABSOLUTELY NO **_**WAY THIS WILL GO WRONG**

**OR: THAT WAS SARCASM**

Azula ran from Ty Lee, Bumi, and Momo (well, he flew, so…) who were running from Jet, who was running from Combustion Man, because Jet stole his scones, and for Agni's sake, _nobody steals his scones._

"Am I dead now? Am I dead now? NO, I AM VERY MUCH ALIVE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Jet screamed hysterically while licking Combustion Man's scones. Ty Lee and Bumi and Momo were chasing down Azula, who was running from them, because they were chasing her. Suddenly, she stopped at an intersection of hallways, and a rainbow flew past her, screaming something about Zuzu, and then Mai and Yue ran the other way, running from a girl in pink frothing at the mouth. Then Haru, dressed as Gwen Stefani, pushed Song, who was stuck to a whiteboard via that plastic wrap used to keep things fresh and stuff.

"It makes sense in context…" Song muttered.

Azula stopped and stared. Then Bumi, Ty Lee, and Momo latched onto her and dragged her into a broom closet. They waited while Combustion Man and Jet passed. "Something weird is happening," Azula stated.

Ty Lee stared at her blankly. "Catfish."

"OMG I liek kittehz' Bumi sed.

"Let me explain," Momo started. "I believe that the crack-ficishness of this story has finally taken over 100%, creating incredible OOC-ness, as well as unprecedented randomness. This could be because there are too many OCs in this story, or maybe the author is incredibly drunk off of fermented leechee nuts. Whatever the case may be, it will probably be left unresolved, until the author is flamed into submission. Yes, by this I may mean he receives a mean review lacking all constructive criticism whatsoever, or that he will be set on fire. Or maybe…IT WAS THE BUTLER!"

Azula stared blankly, as Bumi twirled his hair and Ty Lee tried to consume cleaning products. "Okay." She sat in thought for a moment, only stopping to pin Ty Lee down. "Let's kill an OC!"

* * *

"NO, WAIT, YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE!" HIGHLIGHTERS FERGALICIOUS PURPLE SUNSET KAWAII CATFISH BREAKDANCING KOKAKOLA MCAWESOMESAUCE XIV SAID MOURNFULLY.

"WE HAVE NO CHOICE," AZULA CRIED. "WE'RE STUCK IN CAPS LOCK, AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE SCREAMING."

"MY THROAT HURTS SO BAD!" SUKI EXCLAIMED.

"CAN WE JUST KILL HER ALREADY?" MAI ASKED.

THEY STOOD ON TOP OF THE BUILDING, OVERLOOKING CITY OF UNSPECIFICATION. HIGHLIGHTERS WAS CORNERED, OUTNUMBERED, AND COLORFUL. SHE WAS GOING TO BE THROWN OFF THE ROOF.

"LET'S LET AZULA DO THE HONORS," MAI GRINNED.

AZULA GLARED AT THE COLORFUL IDIOT. "BOO!" SHE EXCLAIMED, AND HIGHLIGHTERS FLEW OFF OF THE BUILDING (NOT LITERALLY, SHE JUST, YOU KNOW, FELL GRACEFULLY) AND LANDED ON THE STREET. A HIPPY THEN RAN HER OVER, AND SHE EXPLODED IN A GLITTERY POOF.

"Well, I think everything's back to normal," Yue smiled. The four girls walked off of the edge of the roof. "Hey, normally, wouldn't Azula try to shoot us full of lightning?"

"Don't bring logic into a crackfic!" Suki exclaimed. "Even if it' been somewhat de-crackified!"

"No, seriously," Yue looked suspiciously at Azula.

"Yoga," she sated simply, and they climbed down a convenient ladder to the pink candy room, where a brunette girl dressed like Azula was eating all of the candy knives.

"HA! I _sabotaged _you!" the Azula imposter exclaimed, and she ran away from the room cackling.

"I don't even know." Azula remarked, and they went into the candy making room.

"Hey Hey Hey! In line, and settle down!" Haru sang.

"Maybe some things never change." Mai deadpanned.

* * *

Janice was locked back up in her board-room/prison/rave-room. At least there was good pretzels that they were giving her, so that she didn't complain. She remembered how she had escaped. She poked the door and it fell over. Heck, it was a sucky escape story, but I said she remembered it, didn't I? Don't look at me condescendingly like that.

But anyways. Janice was in the room, eating pretzels, when somehow she felt a presence. Like someone was present, in the room. (I said stop looking at me like that!)

'I will give you powers beyond belief…' The presence whispered.

"VOLDEMORT?!" Janice screamed.

'No, idiot, I'm a dead person!'

"THAT ISN'T MUCH BETTER!" Janice screamed again.

"Hey, stop the racket!" Pipsqueak, now the prison guard, banged on the door and yelled.

'Sigh…' the presence sighed.

"What do you want?" Janice asked the presence.

'Zuko…bring him to me, and I'll give you amazing powers…' the presence smirked. How an invisible person can smirk, Janice would never find out. But she did agree.

"Sounds good." Janice assented.

And somewhere in the rafters, an undead Highlighters smirked again, and twirled the Voice Disguiser 9000 in her hand. "Perfect," she said.

"What's perfect?" Janice asked.

'Nothing…nothing…'

* * *

Ty Lee made more knives. After the crazy Azula lookalike had eaten most of them, they were pretty low on sweet weaponry. That, and Mai had used some to fend off the llamas that had invaded during the crackfestation. She grabbed some sugar, limes, apostrophes-apostrophes? Yes, apostrophes. Apostrophes make delicious candy. And cupcakes for that matter.

Ty Lee put them all in a blender, as well as some other choice ingredients, and waited for it to be fully blended. She wasn't really sure how to make candy, so she just kind of combined ingredients and made it sharp. It worked, at least.

She then accidentally kicked Zuko in the shin.

"Is she gone?" Zuko asked.

"Who?"

"The rainbow…She wanted me to…" Zuko gulped. "CAPTURE HER."

"That makes no sense," Ty Lee pointed out.

"And when I wouldn't capture her, she captured me…" Zuko gulped again.

"I think they threw her off of a building." Ty Lee stated. "Azula _was _saying that she threw a freak off of a building." Ty Lee sniffed. "I'm so proud!"

"She better have died," Zuko groaned. "She was creepy."

"Unless of course it was previously revealed that she was still alive," Ty Lee said logically. "But what sensible author would do _that_?"

* * *

**Does anyone else think these are very short? Don't worry, they'll get longer.**

**Anyways. So, Spry won a SPESHUL prize! Congratulate her! *clap, clap***

**Her prize was...she got to have an idea of hers get into the story! YAY!**

**Her ideas...**

**1. Someone gets pushed off of a cliff**

**2. Someone gets run over by a car and survives**

**3. Actor!Azula sabotages the candy store**

**Yes, these are all used. You can win a SPESHUL prize like Spry by...pointing out my mistakes! Spry won a SPESHUL prize my pointing out a spacing error. Note these errors cannot be in the Author's Note. Prizes may vary, and you may explode. Side effects of winning prize may include: sneezing, rainbows, setting fire to the rain, death, and sudden want to have plastic ****surgery. Win at your own risk.**

**I would also like to specify that when I say Actor!_InsertCharacterNameHere_, I mean the Ember Island Players version. Like, those guys in that play in that nation in that show. Those guys.**

**I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. I hope I made this clear by the crackaliciousness of this chapter.**

**Push buttons, make monkeys write faster.**

**What sensible author _would _do that? Heheh...heh...**


	7. Because of !

"Agent Avocado, do you copy?" Secret Agent Argent (we realize that it's extremely confusing) flipped her maroon hair over her shoulder, and donned her black trench coat. She scowled. She was ready to send those alien scums back to their world.

Agent Argent's walkie talkie crackled. 'Copy what?'

"It's a code word for 'are you there'." Argent rolled her eyes. Avocado would probably botch this mission. Him and his stupid cats.

"I'm right behind you," he said emotionlessly, flipping his appropriate avocado-colored hair. He might be incredibly dull…but he was basically a robot. Agent Asphalt was always trying to get him to smile. It didn't work. There were lots of conspiracies that he _was_ a robot. Argent was inclined to believe them.

"Good. Now, are we ready to SAVE THE WORLD?!" Argent screamed dramatically.

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of $$$!**

**0.0.0**

**PART 2: DA HEIST**

**OR: DA KIDNAPPING**

**OR: DA LAST PART WAS PART 1, AND DIS IS PART 2, SO DER! **

Azula smiled at the room full of recovered characters. Recovered from the crack!fic, that is. "Now, we will be leaving on our respective assignments in exactly _**INSERT NUMBER HERE**_ words. So, I expect that all of us know what we're doing, who we're going after, who our partners are, etc.?"

The room collectively nodded.

"Good, good. Now, you might need some things to help you and stuff, so General Fong and Aunt Wu have made you some backpacks containing all the things you may need, plus peanut brittle."

"Never leave home without peanut brittle, children," Aunt Wu smiled.

Azula blinked. "Yes." She then jumped up on the podium. "And also remember…if you see pigeons, run! They steal clothes! And if you see fanboys, kill them quickly, 'cause you'll better the world! Oh, and I would expect all of the actors from The Last Airbender to be ninjas or something, solely for the purpose of the continuation of plot. So bring knives. Maybe TNT. Mmmmm, explosions…." And with that, Azula jumped off of the podium, onto the long table that all of the characters were sitting at, and ran down it. Then she jumped through the door.

"So what now?" Jin asked Mai.

"Convenient time skip!" Suki exclaimed.

(CoNvEnIeNt TiMe SkIp)

Suddenly, everyone was at the door to the outside world (outside of the candy shop, that is) with backpacks.

"That was kind of weird." Aang wrinkled his nose.

"They usually are," Katara said.

"Kind of inconvenient. So, technically, I guess it was an INCONVENIENT time skip. Or something." Yue explained to herself with hand motions.

"Hm. So do we go now?" Haru asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, I guess," Ty Lee said. "I'll miss this candy shop…"

"I won't." Mai deadpanned. And with that, she walked out the door, into the blinding sunlight.

"So sad to see her go…" Yue sniffled. "Oh, wait for me!"

Yue ran out of the door, too, and everyone stood there awkwardly. Aang shifted uncomfortably, Jun twiddled her thumbs, and Zhao scowled. Stupid mermaid.

"HEY EVERYBODY!" Azula screamed, popping up in the middle of the crowd. Needless to say, they all ran out the door quicker than Momo to a bushel of apples.

**Yue and Mai**

"So we're looking for this Seychelle Gabriel girl?" Mai asked Yue.

"Yeah. I guess we just go…south?" Yue asked. "I actually have no idea how we're going to find her."

"Wasn't very thought out."

"Is it ever?" Yue pondered. They stopped at a little bench, next to a sign that said 'bus.' Yue sat down. "I know we should just take the bus. Azula told us that. But…"

Mai rustled through her bag. When Yue looked at her quizzically, she said, "Looking for a phone. Teknikal Support, remember?" Yue caught on and went through hers, too.

"Bubble gum? Sudoku? Really?" Yue scowled.

"We have fireworks. Those are helpful," Mai said.

"For the 4th of July, maybe. GAH." Yue screamed, shoving her face in her lap.

A boy, maybe 16 or something, came up to the bench and sat down next to her. "hey beautiful," He smirked. Yue looked up, shocked, then realized t=what she was wearing- her uniform.

She decided to keep cool. "Heyyyyyyy!" She drawled out.

"So, are you up-"

"Can we borrow your phone?" Yue asked, using the puppy eyes she often used on her father.

He dug it out of his pocket, and handed it over to her. "Anything for you, babe," he said.

"Hey, Yue, I found a gun," Mai said, and waved it around to show it off. "Think it works?"

The boy of 16 or something ran off screaming.

"And I got a phone!" Yue exclaimed. "…Maybe we should change clothes."

**Azula and Ty Lee**

Ty Lee hopped up and down excitedly. "We're going to kidnap Summer Bishil! We're going to kidnap Summer Bishil!"

"Yes, Ty Lee, we shall. And she will feel pain!" Azula exclaimed. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed creepily.

"Did you do your daily yoga?" Ty Lee said with raised eyebrows.

"Of course. Now, let's go into this Store of Department and buy some tic tacs!" Azula grabbed Ty Lee's and dragged her into the big, ugly brown store.

"Why? Tic tacs are so bland," Ty Lee tried to reason with the lunatic.

"So we can throw them at people, duh," Azula scoffed. "You've lost your edge, Ty Lee." Azula walked up to the cash register lady. "I'd like a box of tic tacs, please," Azula grabbed a box of green and orange tic tacs and placed it on the counter.

"That will be $1.00, m'am," the register lady said.

"How do you pronounce the $ sign?" Azula wondered.

"Wha- well- I don't know!" the lady said.

"You have a very special talent," Azula gasped. "It must be used to better humanity!"

The woman gasped. "I'm MAGIC!" and with that, she fled, screaming "$$$$$$$$$$$!" All the way out.

Azula scooped up lots of tic tacs. "Easy as pie," she smiled, as Ty Lee '$'d.

**Sokka and Suki**

"So Suki…" Sokka rambled.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if…"

"Yes…?"

"I forgot."

"You forgot what you were wondering?" Suki laughed.

"It isn't funny."

"It is."

"Stop laughing. I forget things sometimes!" Sokka said dramatically.

"Sorry."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"?"

"…"

"!"

"?!"

"I wonder how many reader's minds are in the gutter right now!" Suki laughed. Awkward silence ensued.

"Wanna go get ice cream?" Sokka said.

"YES!" Suki exclaimed.

**Zuko and Jin**

"We should have a team name!" Jin exclaimed.

"…Okay."

"We could be…the Sexy Awesome People!" Jin squeed. Zuko tried to save his ears by covering them.

"Or we could not have a team name," Zuko said through gritted teeth.

"That's fine, that's fine," Jin smiled. "Hey, I'ma look for flashlights in this bag, okay?" Jin rummaged through a bag for a flashlight. "Ooh, look, fireworks!"

Zuko rushed over to Jin and snatched it out of her hands. "…Don't want any accidents," he explained.

Jin kept on looking for a flashlight as they walked down the sidewalk, occasionally shouting out an item. "Hey, what's this brown stuff?" She pulled it.

"Ow!" the human attached to the human hair exclaimed. "That hurt!"

"AHH! IT TALKS!" Jin screamed. She dropped the bag, spilling out all of the contents, and ran the other way, down the street.

"What the noodles-"

"Hello, Zuko, I have been instructed to- what does that say?" Janice (for that was who was inside the backpack) was brushing cheese dust from cheetos off of herself with one hand and reading something scrawled on the other.

Zuko looked over to her and onto her hand. "I think that says…cat snap?"

"I have been instructed to cat snap you- wait, wait. That doesn't seem right. Snapping cats is illegal in this country!" Janice exclaimed.

"I think it's legal in South America…" Zuko pondered. "Hmm."

**Somewhere in South America**

"Hey Bryan," Mike said. "Did you know it's legal to snap cats in this country?"

Bryan gasped. "Well what are we waiting for! Let's snap some cats!" And with that, they rode off into the sunset.

The end.

**Back to Zuko and Janice**

"Woah." Zuko said, his eyes wide. "Woah."

"Yeah," Janice agreed. "Very."

"Extremely."

"Precisely."

"How did you escape Smellerbee and Longshot?" Zuko asked.

Janice grinned. "Sea turtles, mate."

Zuko picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Sea turtles?"

* * *

**HELLO MY DARLING READERS! :)**

**That was an emoticon. But anyways. I am very sorry for ditching you completely. I experienced a dangerous combo of lack of self confidence and the writer's block. I almost put it on hiatus- which, it basically already WAS on hiatus, but, um, whatever- because of those aforementioned things.**

**BUT HEAD19 REVIEWED AND I CAVED IN. So that is who this chapter is dedicated to.**

**Also, in recent news, I decided to commit metaphorical suicide by taking up three new projects. In three different fandoms. All using OCs. I'm stupid. These three fandoms are Pokemon (judge me), Avatar:The Last Airbender, and Total Drama. I won't post these until I write three chapters for each of them. Current chapter count: Total Drama, 1.5; Pokemon, 1; Avatar, 0. **

**BUT DON'T WORRY. I won't quit this. Because I love reviews too much.**

**Also, I am trying to elongate my chapters, because ****they were real short before. So this is 200 words longer. I feel like I have failed. Oh well.**

**Push ALL dem buttons. Just don't explode.**

**Also, I don't own. Anything. Not even, say, Avatar: The Last Airbender. Neither do I own M. Night Shyamalan, who I do not hate. Making it clear.**

**Sea turtles? What movie was _that from, _I wonder?**


	8. Because of Old Enemies!

"Where are we starting?" Avocado asked Argent emotionlessly. "Do you have a general idea of where they are?"

"I think they've headed south," Agent Argent (Again, confusing) said. "They're definitely still in North America… and my best guess is that they're in Generic City. There's been a spike of chaos and crime there recently, and I'll bet those aliens are to blame."

"We take the bus, then," Avocado rationalized, hugging his kitty stuffed animal.

"Or we could take the-" Suddenly, from the recesses of Argent's backpack came a sound not unlike a walrus on a pogo stick.

"MEUHMEUHMEUHMEUHMEUHMEUH" went the strange noise.

Avocado and Argent stood in shock. "ASPHALT!" Argent screamed. She took her phone (for it was her ringtone) and pressed 'Answer.' "ASPHALT, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST… I COULD'VE BEEN IN AN IMPORTANT MEETING!" Argent bellowed. "IMAGINE WHAT BOSS WOULD'VE THOUGHT!" Argent fumed. "Now tell me how to change it back!"

"No!" Asphalt said immaturely. "Never! MWAHAHAHA!"

"I think Asphalt's right outside," Avocado said. He opened the door and in walked a short girl with drab gray hair.

"So, where's this trip we're going on?"

**This Story Is Exceptional**

**0.0.0**

**Because of Old Enemies**

**0.0.0**

**PART 2: DA HEIST**

**OR: DA KIDNAPPING**

**OR: DA LAST PART WAS PART 1, AND DIS IS PART 2, SO DER! **

**Toph and Aang**

"So where is this person we're finding?" Toph asked, fiddling with a Rubik's cube.

"I don't know," Aang sighed. He looked over at Toph. "But how are you doing that?"

Toph glared in the general direction of Aang's face. "Is this entire chapter going to be blind jokes?

"Valid point. Hey, maybe there's a map in the bag that Aunt Wu gave us!" Aang rustled around in the bag, looking for a map. "I don't see anything… but the entire bag is much too dark to, anyways. Maybe if I stuck my head in…" Aang stuck his head in the bag. He moved his head around. "AAAAAAAH!" he screamed.

"What? What is it?" Toph said, pulling his head out of the bag.

"A pentapus. Just a pentapus." Aang rubbed his body and took him off of his face. "Although I'm not sure why putting a pentapus in our bag was necessary."

"Here, let me try," Toph said. She took the bag, stuck her hand in, and pulled out a crudely drawn map.

"Whoah! How'd you do that?" Aang said incredulously.

"You mean it isn't food?"

Aang snatched it from her hands quickly. "The only thing I recognize on this map is the convenient store three blocks back and that tall tower with the statue of a flying pig."

"Flying pig? Well doesn't _that _sound familiar." Toph said sarcastically.

Aang, oblivious to sarcasm, replied, "Yeah, it does!"

Toph rolled her eyes… sort of. "We're going over there. It's a good checkpoint."

"Makes sense, but how are we going to get over there? It's on the other side of town." Aang pointed at the tall tower with a bronze statue of a flying pig on the top.

"We could bend, but we'd attract too much attention…" Toph sat in thought, which was basically just her standing there. "I have an idea."

* * *

"Toph, this is a terrible idea!" Aang was watching as Toph stuffed a taxi

driver in the back of the car tied up and gagged. "It's immoral, it's illegal, and neither of us know how to drive!"

"Don't worry. According to Wikipedia, when we're all dead, _everyone _has one of these!" Toph got in the driver's seat.

"Toph, I am not letting you drive," Aang said.

"What? I can feel the car, I can see in here! It's made of some sort of metal!"

"I don't know what these round things are, but they are _not _metal," Aang said, gesturing to the tires.

Toph sighed. "I'm going to be honest. I don't know how to drive, I can't see ahead of me, and I can't _actually _see through this car. Now get in." Aang whimpered, but Toph yanked him into the car. The taxi driver in the backseat moaned in pain. "Quiet, you!" She put her hand on the outside of the door.

"Okay, I can actually see some of the car that we're in right now. I think it'll start if I kind of…" Toph twisted her hand, and the car rumbled into life. Using her hands, she had started the car. It started slowly inching out of the alleyway that they had stolen the car from. "Well this isn't going to work!" Toph pushed her hand down and the gas pedal responded with it. The car made a grumbling noise, and started speeding quickly down the street, nearly missing cars and pedestrians.

"Watch it!" Aang made an earthbending ramp for the car to go on, nearly missing a BMW. "Hey, I bet I can steer this thing with airbending!" Aang let go a jet of wind and the taxi veered right.

A cop car appeared behind them.

"I don't think he wants tea," Aang said worriedly.

"EAT DUST, COPPER!" Toph slammed on the gas and the taxi sped faster, with Aang launching small rocks at the cop car. "EVASIVE MANEUVERS!" Aang started sending jets of air at both sides of the car, making it serve around. "FIRE, FIRE!"

"I DON'T HAVE ANY WEAPONS!" Aang screamed. "AND WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?"

"Good point. I meant like firebending!"

Aang nodded, and sent a small burst of flame at the police car, setting it on fire and creating a huge explosion. "…Whoops."

Toph stopped the car in front of the building. "WE'RE HERE."

"I think I might have to pee," Aang said.

"There are bushes for that. Come on, let's check the map and leave."

"But what if I pee myself?" Aang said, panicking.

"I'm sure it washes out. Now come on, I don't want to get caught by the police for hijacking a taxi, creating minor explosions, and kidnapping a guy that smells funny."

"He did smell funny," Aang said.

Toph took out the map and handed it to Aang. "Read," she huffed.

"Not until I pee!" Aang said.

Toph thought for a moment. "Just sneak inside the building, and don't get caught."

"Why?"

"Because I'm pretty sure-"

"No time, gotta go!" Aang ran into the tall, formidable, dark, spooky, intimidating building and was never seen again.

I'm kidding. He walked out ten minutes later at rock-point (like gunpoint, but earthbender style) with Shin and the Beifongs. Toph glared.

"I see what you meant by 'not getting caught'," Aang said meekly.

**Sokka and Suki**

Sokka and Suki sat inside of a colorful ice cream shop. Many beautiful pictures of unicorns bedecked the walls. The floor was a garish shade of green. Fancy-ish lamps that were probably made in Sweden hung from the ceiling.

So to be precise, it wasn't as much an _ice cream _shop as much as a _frozen yogurt _shop.

"What flavor is that?" Suki asked Sokka, looking up from her pink cone.

"Peanut butter. I hope. It's a beige color, so I really don't think it'd be any other flavor." Sokka returned to licking his 'peanut butter' ice cream.

"I think it's pomegranate, but it could be any sort of pink fruit. Like strawberries. Or mangoes."

"Mangoes aren't red," Sokka said.

"They are when they're rotten," Suki replied, "And I wouldn't hold it past this place to have rotten mango flavored frozen yogurt. The names of the flavors are really…vague." Suki pointed over to the dispensing machine, where signs for flavors such as 'Fruit Explosion' and 'Fluffy Velvet' hung.

"What's the name of this place, anyways?" Sokka asked Suki. Suki got out of her squishy colorful chair and outside on the street to look at the sign above the store. She paled and walked back into the shop.

"You paid, right?" Suki said. Sokka nodded.

"Why?" Sokka asked, his face covered in beige and sticky melted frozen yogurt.

Suki leaned in closer, her eyes big. "Because it isn't frozen yogurt, it's-"

"Sozin Yogurt, yes." Fire Lord Sozin, still in old-man form, walked out from the back. Two assistants also came from the back. They closed the front doors and switched the 'Open' sign around. Sokka paled. "I don't know how Mike and Bryan did it, but I am back from the dead. How that works, I'll never know."

"Middle-aged men magic, sir," an assistant piped up.

"Shut up, Randall," Sozin spat. "So, naturally, after escaping the cramped prison-thing, I started a business."

"A frozen yogurt business?" Sokka asked, confused.

"No, I gathered up as many people as I could and together we _recreated THE FIRE NATION!" _Sozin laughed evilly. A 'crack' noise was heard and Sozin winced. "Oh, my back! Okay, no more evil laughing."

"So…you're like the Fire Nation mafia?" Suki said.

"I guess you can say that," Sozin said.

"LONG LIVE THE FIRE NATION!"

"Shut up Randall! Now is not the time!" Sozin shifted to look at Randall. "Alexander and Alexandra, take him out back." Two assistants came out of nowhere and picked Randall up by his feet and dragged him back through the double-doors. "Now, ponytail, auburn, you're going to tell me why you're here."

"Auburn?" Suki said, stroking her hair worriedly.

"We just wanted frozen yogurt!" Sokka said.

"Is auburn bad?"

Sozin glared. "It's a nickname, and I mean why _we're _here. I really never caught the real reason."

"You weren't in the movie theater?" Suki said.

"I hate movies. Too loud. I spent the time in the bathroom." Sozin explained. "But what are you doing? You seem to have an errand you're running." Suki and Sokka looked at each other. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way…" Sozin made the classic finger-pretending-to-be-knife-slitting-throat thing.

"We're tracking down the actors for the movie to make our own before the real movie is put in theaters." Suki explained. "Once M. Night Shame-llama is out of the hospital, they'll probably put the movie in theaters, and then we'll be humiliated."

"I see…" Sozin said. "Alexis, call the hospital. I bet he'll pay money to hear this." Suki and Sokka were gagged, bound, and dumped in the secret prison vault in the back of the yogurt shop.

And all for the want of Frozen Yogurt.

* * *

**Another late ****update. I warned you.**

**And with this chapter, this is the longest story chapter and word-wise that I have ever written, with the most reviews. Because of this accomplishment, this is the longest chapter. And probably the shortest Author's Note. Also, um, never mind. I forgot.**

**I really don't have much to say. So...**

**I don't own most proper nouns in thjs story. i.e. Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Last Airbender, M. Night Shyamalan, or, um, ****never mind. I forgot.**

**Push all the buttons. Or don't. Sadness.**

**Also, there is no question at the end of this chapter.**


End file.
